Diary
(2) “Fatiha”, prayer and punishment .. Ahmed Seif Hashed
My memoirs.. from the details of my life
(2)
Fatiha, prayer and punishment
Ahmed Seif Hashed
I want the “ship of salvation” .. the ship of the Lord to what He wants and is pleased with.. I want to pray to enter Paradise and abide in it forever.. There is no sadness or death there.. There is no hunger or want.. In Paradise there are apples, grapes and fruits, and rivers of honey and ghee. And Laban.. I was imagining the matter and seeking it with all my soul and soul.. What comfort, luxury and a joyful life that does not end..
All that I desire will be present and present.. All that you wish for in Heaven will come sooner or later before your end returns to you..
I used to ask my mother more and more questions, and she was happily recounting and prolonging about Paradise and its details.. She explains with joy as if she is living it.. She tells her scenes in a way that captivates the soul, tempts the winged imagination, enchants the ears, and the hearts are passionate..
In this bright frame and high-flying imagination, I have always talked to myself, but simply without condescension..
I want a “life ark” that saves me from the fire, and teaches me ablution and prayer, with captivating and captivating illustrations.. “The ark of salvation” is a brochure that I have been waiting for so long and longed for, and a series of promises have gone unfulfilled.. it was forgetting that delays the implementation Those promises, and he postpones them from time to time.. After a long and patient wait that almost ran out, and promises that were disappointed, my father fulfilled his last promise, and I seemed on that day as if I owned the entire universe..
When my father handed me the brochure “The Ark of Salvation,” my surprise was greater than my world, and my happiness was greater than the happiness of a thousand worshipers.. A happiness that accommodates every prayer, provides relief to a thousand desperate, and saves every penitent.. My heart is full of joy.. It dances, sings and flies like a butterfly.. I live Astonishment in all senses, and I repeat my archives:
“I am a brave hero kid*** and everyone loves me
I pray early in the morning *** and I pray to God to guide me.”
But joy was killed at its peak, happiness faded, the range shrunk, and they cut the connection as a fool cuts his artery, and the situation changed to the misery of existence, and a beating that I still hear its hum to this day..
“Teach them by seven and multiply them by ten.” This hadith, which I do not know how true and reliable it is, made me miserable, and it took me a lot, even when I was close to sixty, I did not do well for what I was struck for; The only thing I learned very well is that I have become very sympathetic to donkeys..
***
I fought a fierce battle in order to memorize Surat Al-Fatihah.. I was beaten for it until the heart was stirred.. I was composing in it until my father’s hand and shoes intervened, my mind flew and his senses flew, and I found myself hurriedly reading like prey running after hyenas and lions.. my voice rumbled, and my thinking was disturbed like a sea And a storm… My soul was scattered like sand in a rumbling hurricane, and I flew like sparks of iron fire under a blacksmith’s hammer…
I forgot to form, adjust and stop, and my tears fell profusely without a season.
A hurricane of confusion overwhelms me because of hitting and slapping, and my discrimination fades, and everything overlaps with each other, and I see the lines chatting to each other like crocodile teeth. Hear me what to say!!
My father’s pressure rises, and I press under it like a piece of paper that cannot be resisted, and there is nothing left for you to understand, except with the running of my jammed tongue waiting in my mouth full and crowded with it.
I was certain that my memorization of Surat Al-Fatihah had become complicated, rather more than impossible, and if I continued to recite it and give it a fatwa until the Day of Resurrection.. I thought that my prayer would not be accepted by my Lord from me as long as my father did not accept it, because of my melodies and my mistakes in reciting it, and I seemed to myself that I would not escape from it even by a miracle, Or so I understood from my father, who received some of the teachings of Islam and memorized the Qur’an and Hadith at the hands of Al-Bayhani in the Crater of Aden.
***
My older brother, Ali Saif Hashid, also fought a battle with my father and praying, as soon as they were together in Aden, and my brother’s rebellion went beyond prayer and his father, until the muezzin of the nearby mosque was long, who threw in his mouth what was blocking while he was opening his mouth while he was calling at dawn..
Then my brother Aden left, and fled from my father, the prayer, and the muezzin to Sana’a, and he was still under fifteen years old at that time. When he wanted to join the Military College upon his arrival in Sana’a in 1963, most likely.. the Egyptian officer asked him about his age, and he answered him 15 years; The Egyptian officer said to him: One of the conditions for joining the college is that the applicant be at least 16 years old.. My brother replied to him: “Record 16 years.” The Egyptian officer sobbed, and recorded that my brother’s age was 16..
However, the most important thing is that my brother, with regard to prayer, exceeded his rebellion against it to more than boycotting it, just as his revolution went beyond my father’s postulates from A to Z..
***
My story with the “life ship” is similar to what happened to the “Titanic” ship.. The Titanic had the highest protection, safety and safety standards, and my ship was in it that was stronger and greater, and “God is the best protector and keeper.”
The “life ship”, I found it, but I did not find salvation in it, rather I found my disappointment that swallows the ocean.. And the “Titanic” ship, which was believed at that time to be anti-sink, sank deep at the bottom of the ocean..
“Titanic” four days after its first sailing, collided with a mountain of ice, and it sank to the deep bottom, while I slapped my father’s palm, it was enough to drown me and my ship to the bottom of Hell.
***
My aunt Saeeda, the mother of my brother Ali, was keen to perform the obligatory prayers, and when my curiosity asked her at the end of her life about her reading “Al-Fatihah” during prayer, it became clear to me that she did not read Surat Al-Fatihah, nor any other surahs and verses of the Qur’an, and was satisfied with the remembrance of God for the length of her prayers. With the reading of the tashahhud..
My aunt “happy” was pious and good in work and dealing, and her heart was full of faith, and she knew our Lord in a way that many of those who pray do not know, while they steal, corrupt, loot, and kill the homelands and with it the forbidden soul, without the slightest concern or reprimand of conscience..
***
He follows..
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