Diary
(6) Between my fear and my madness..!! Ahmed Seif Hashed
My memoirs.. from the details of my life
(6)
My fear and my madness..!!
Ahmed Seif Hashed
Between my fear and my madness is a journey of heavy injustice, continuous torment, and resistance that rejects despair and brokenness.. Between this and that is rejection and resistance that does not give in or calm down and does not succumb to tyranny and tyranny.. It is the distance in which I overcome my oppression and my destiny, and exercise my existence until it conquers shame and tyrannical phobia Injustice is heavier on my shoulders and on the shoulders of the simple people.
Despite my turmoil and fear and many of the stormy scenes that I live in and crowded inside, I think I was keen on the credibility of what I said – even if it was tainted by some confusion – and that what I said of pain stemmed from the depths of my soul, which burns with a lively conscience that does not rest and does not rest in the face of injustice Whatever it is, and under any name, dress or title..
I used to express people’s pain and my pain spontaneously and honestly, away from political calculations that often do not tell the truth, or those that seek to rob awareness, sources of will, undermine freedom, and work to domesticate what is possible within the herd.
When the Deputy Prime Minister for Defense and Security in 2007 slandered me in Parliament with a fabricated and false account of my detention at Political Security; I swore in the parliament on my honor that this minister is a liar after he finished telling his fabricated story.. Some of the deputies demanded in the session to withdraw my words, and to apologize to His Excellency, while some threatened to withdraw my parliamentary immunity because I had offended the Minister..
The truth is that I was very honest, and he was a very liar, and even deliberately lying and slandering.. I refused to apologize, and I was the short wall of my leaping colleagues in siding with the government and His Excellency the Minister.. At that time, the hypocrisy of some of them reached the point of shame and blatant vulgarity that passed severe, deliberate and heavy on my broken soul With their betrayal, hypocrisy, and petty fanaticism.
I was overcome with frustrating feelings and feelings, and crushing my inner fear with more challenge and the will to continue advocating and siding with the rights of the people and my violated parliamentary rights, with a deep realization that there is room for me to transform my psychological disability called “phobia” into a force greater than it. And most importantly, it is important that I do not acquiesce or surrender to this handicap that I feel as it penetrates into the depths of my soul, which hates injustice and resists the oppressors, whoever they are and under any slogan or sacred.
***
I was narrower to those who pretend to speak in front of screens to deceive their citizens, lie to them, and falsify their awareness, while behind the scenes and in closed rooms they burden the people with everything that is heavy.. There is a lot of deception, marketing delusion, and betrayal of conscience.
They were removing subsidies from the necessary commodities, and passing potions from under the dome of Parliament with deceptive words such as the term “economic reform packages” without detracting, violating or touching the ancient corruption, and even legislating laws for him, and leaving him the major loopholes to pass through as His Majesty a fearful king..
It provoked me for this to happen, and it provoked me more than those who professionalize the melodies of arguments to justify injustice or plot against it as a right that is intended to be false, or those who collude with the oppressors with the silence of treachery and shame.. Those whose immoral speeches vanish and their positions end in absence, mirage and false loads.. Those who receive bribes after passing Some tough deals, some laws and agreements that are full of holes and doors of horrible corruption..
I was and am still narrower to those who lack credibility and conscience or stand against the interests of the crippled and destitute poor and their just causes.. I often speak spontaneously and do not master what they call “the art of rhetoric and speech” and what comes in most of it at the expense of the homeland and justice, and the dreams of dreamers of the future of a great homeland that is more tender, happy and uplifting ..
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And when I found Parliament not to accommodate the issues, grievances and concerns I bear, and even after being convinced that this Parliament is not even able to lift a small amount of it, and it was tired of expressing what I wanted to express, and I realized that every labor in it does not end in birth, or even to a single position that can To turn the tables, change the situation, or produce a modest transformation, I enthusiastically turned towards writing, publishing, and field protest work.
I wrote and published in newspapers reports parallel to the reports of the Committee on Freedom and Human Rights in the Council.. I revealed many violations that I found through my media and human rights activity in which I depend on the tireless soul searching for justice, or through the Change Organization that I had the honor to chair.
I also revealed through the “Al-Mustakla” newspaper, which I own, what I hear that is not announced, and what is happening behind the council’s guard, and the deals and positions that are taking place in closed rooms, and the unfairness that is being passed through the Council against the people and the country, and I even revealed a position in it The biases of each deputy, and his vote, rejection and abstention regarding the decisions issued by the Council in public and important matters.
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Injustice was intensifying, and people’s grievances were reaching me or I was looking for them, then they were reproached and crowded in my consciousness and sentimental without finding anyone to help me, or remove injustice from their owners.. Whoever ran the council’s sessions, a president or a deputy, dealt with me inferiorly, and ignored me a lot in a way that provoked me It provokes my existence, confiscates my right to speak, or cuts it off without a formula or a valid justification, and sometimes even does this with arrogance and contempt, or coldness and indifference, and thus practices subjugation to the desire and will of the dominance of tyranny and arbitrariness..
I was also subjected to blatant violations that would affect me and multiply the more I insisted on demanding justice and resisting injustice and not giving in to it, then my colleagues abandoned me after a short time for reasons that belong to them, and perhaps some of them found me the short wall to blame me, and manage in it their bias or shortcoming or the loss of their strength, and in the end and result I was I do not reach justice, equity or right, I search for it with painstakingly soul and soul, and I have always found the authority and its men immunized repeatedly through their followers in the council and their reluctance to extract any right or fairness from them..
I protested, remained silent, rebelled, and succeeded in overcoming a lot of my shyness and fear.. My life was filled with attempts without despair or fall.. I was crowded with confrontations, noise, rebellion and clamor.. The most important thing is that I do not give up, do not succumb, and do not succumb to injustice or unjust..
Many of the protest positions that I took in Parliament and in which I crushed a lot of my shame and phobia.. I started from sit-in to hunger strike more than once and on occasion, to standing at the table, to sitting and turning my back to the presidency, to wrapping chains and locks on my neck and chest until I almost cried I am suffocating, and they are trying to prevent me from entering the council hall and protesting in it, as well as stealing my shirt and staying without a shirt, and the case has even reached the point of trying to close Parliament with the wounded, and attempting to strip more than once in this very naked assembly hall..
***
When oppression and immorality are practiced against you, revolt and rebel and do not surrender, and there is no harm in taking a space from overcrowding and narrowing, or a warrior’s rest in which you can regain your breath and strength until you crush fatigue and weakness to start the ball again with the will of iron dregs..
When heavy frustration strikes you, or disaster or setback descends on your heads in a dysfunctional battle between defenseless and those who possess a thousand destiny, tell all fates that the war is not over, and if we lose a battle, we have in the coming rounds, and we have great honor, and waiting for a thousand exploits and victory, In conclusion, a great victory awaits us.
If a defeat comes to you, say what has been defeated who is still resisting.. There is no harm in taking a break in which you will regain your strength over a not long range, in order to repeat the game for two, and return the ball a thousand balls in the face of those who oppress you with injustice and tyranny.. A strong will is not defeated by a thousand fates and Nimrod..
I said and I continue to say to those whose oppression is prolonged and deepened, and they thought that their reign would extend for a thousand years Sana’a is 12,200 years old, and Yemen’s age is deep in the history of civilization and existence, and your covenant, if it is long in this deep extension, will not exceed a moment.. In the face of fates of injustice and oppression that they insist on imposing on us, and subjecting us to tyranny and tyranny.. Practice your existence and do not surrender to absurd fates, and do not submit to an unjust reality no matter how heavy, dark and costly it is.
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He follows ..
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