Diary
(8) My adolescence..and my first experience in a dream.. Ahmed Seif Hashed
My memoirs.. from the details of my life
(8)
My adolescence..and my first experience in a dream
Ahmed Seif Hashed
My depression intensifies and intensifies.. Deprivation explodes me and makes me cry in my depths, and ignites its fires in the farthest extent of my life.. Obsessed with my sexual emptiness.. Obsessed all day long.. Obsessed in waking and sleeping.. Prohibition exercises its tyranny, leaving no place for love.. Love is forbidden and love is forbidden. My society explodes my skull, searches for what is hidden in it, and what is hidden by the treasonous eyes..
My community is under the delusion of chastity, and suffers from squinting.. He hits the eye of an ant, and misses the size of the elephant.. He does not see the plank in his eye and sees the speck in his brother’s eye.. He abandons major issues, and pursues a night lover.. Busy with the breath of a woman, at the expense of a thousand cases..
My society is fond of criminalization.. handicapped and mentally retarded.. its disabilities are greater than it.. my society is ruled by predominance.. blood is very cheap, and with poverty normalization is underway.. poverty is a norm in this world.. death is very lavish, and intolerance is a familiar fate.. disclosure is a crime and a taboo. An upbringing from the era of infanticide.. The mother’s name is a disgrace among boys.. My society is doomed to shame.. My society is doomed to fire..
Prevention increases desire.. my eroticism is looking for pleasure.. my destiny is besieged by narrowness, confined to its blindness by resourcefulness.. fire flashes in my veins, and the horses of love falter in the blood stream.. lost in the first wandering, I run after the panting of the wind, looking for a woman who extinguishes the lights..
Under my skin, a thousand watchdogs.. the defect lurks in the breath of eagerness.. stifles the passion of desire.. the oppression that comes from the era of bygone valley, wants my valley in my exiled school in a barren desert, blazing, and spitting up and grilling.. and a question that grows between my aching ribs, stinging me with a whip of fire: Where do I unload the loads of lust?!
***
I swam around the fever several times.. I swam to fall into it.. I want to break the latch, and take out the red wax in countries that are burdened by prohibition, and surrounded by what is forbidden.. My curiosity invites me to probe the depths and explore the deepest depths.. The homeland of the female is very deep.. The female voice is calling me: Today is lonely Do not hesitate, do not delay, realize your desire, for the unseen is tomorrow, and tomorrow at noon is not guaranteed by anyone..
I long to navigate the self, explore the mystery of the valleys, reveal the map of the female, and the details of sex.. A witness that calls for lust, is more delicious than honey bee, and better than the brine of heaven.. Thus said the devil, and invited me to travel in the space of pleasure, and the higher heavens of love.. Like light or like a star without shining or ascending..
It is my first adventure, in which I discover myself, and discover the opposite sex. I prayed the Hallaj prayer.. I prayed the prayer of the soul so that I can use it for guidance what I do! I prayed for rain.. I called the rain to the wasteland.. I chose to cross the unveiling, to answer the questions of confusion.. I wanted to know myself, to answer questions that spur and whisper.. Questions invoked my subconscious mind, like a lion in the cages of its cages.. Questions that ignite in the depth of consciousness, To light up the unknowns of the soul and the halls of darkness..
***
The beautiful voice called me: Hey, come on.. Have the first experience.. Try once.. Travel in the body of a woman.. Speak your secret.. What do you do with the sheathed sword.. You are not a treasure trove.. You are not a museum or a showroom.. Come on. I tear it in the face of the sun.. I polish it and sharpen it in the fire.. I blow it to the end..
Blow it until it spreads and turns red.. Sow it in living flesh.. Come do this.. For the first time you will feel that you are a living being, filled with happiness that explodes with joy.. You will feel that you have not lived before.. and do not let the earth decay.. the earth is for those who revive it, and I ask Resurrecting the dead..
Satan said, “Oh, take it easy.. your life is wasted.. don’t let your present shrivel with sorrow like a candle on a cold night.. don’t let the years of the coming life be plundered by the wind.. so that you don’t cry over the past, and youth squandered by ignorant people.. your present bites it, with your faces.” And the canine.. Hold it with both of your hands.. Make a great deed, and crown the female kingdom, so that you will not regret it, and weep tomorrow lost youth..
The beautiful said: You, this one..Reveal the closed secret..Break the shackles of piety..Take the burdened delusion, and break the siege of solitude..Break the secret locks and code numbers..Sex is more delicious in the era of repression, and freedom is more enjoyable after oppression, and desire is more passionate and wild. In the era of the forbidden..
The beautiful woman said: You ..Reveal the closed secret..Break the shackles of piety..Take the burdened delusion and break the siege of solitude..Break the secret locks and code numbers..Sex is more delicious in the age oppression, and freedom is more enjoyable after oppression, and desire is more passionate and brutality. In the era of the forbidden..
Satan said: Taqiyya is imprisonment and hypocrisy.. Taqiyya is falsehood and a mask.. Tear down your prison, and remove the mask of falsehood. To see the world from its end.. Taqiyya is a sentence of death.. Taqiyyah does not reconcile with a soul yearning for freedom.. Freedom is stifled by walls, and Taqiyya is a wall that kills us so and so times a day.. Taqiyyah is a betrayal of the soul.. Nudity reconciles with its companions, and the worst ugliness is to wear a thousand masks..
The beautiful woman said: Do not decide to die, and do not blow yourself up for the sake of heaven and the daughters of the poplars.. seize your present until you get drunk.. salute the earth and do not kill a human being, and God is merciful and forgiving.. oh this is a rebellion and explore the map of women for the first time.. you will discover that God is in the eyes of a woman Forgive, and in the pulse of the breast you will hear all the beautiful names, and in the sanctuary of love glorify in the kingdom of God.. God is merciful and merciful..forgiving and forgiving..
***
The excitement of pleasure in my joints.. I overcome my fire.. the situation overwhelms me.. the fire of lust engulfs my sagging body.. the first time in my life I see a woman undresses.. the first time I see the details of a woman condensing under my ember body.. the first time I dive into the terrain of a woman who gives experience. The female’s groans at the height of her pleasure are resurrection.. it gives you ecstasy.. makes you feel that you are the king of the universe..
Satan said: Rain it with longing, rain it kisses and longing for pleasure..discover all dimensions..discover all universes..write your tattoo on the female memory..at the gates of love, and on the balconies of light..roam over the breasts until they are dazzled..discover the secret in the sanctuary of love..
Kiss a neck that smells of enchanting perfume, the neck lengthens with kissing, and becomes as long as the palm tree.. How wonderful to climb a palm tree to taste a mouth dripping honey, and happiness fills the universe.. A longing neck for the under-twenties, unleash your lust in the plowing, and split the Al-Wasl Canal from the first strike..
Your ships are burdened, oh this, with the loads of lust.. Empty your ships from a long load.. Don’t hold your nerve while groaning for pleasure.. Break the locks of revelation.. The breath of the knights of love mingles with the neighing of the horses of desire and the blissful revelation.. Breasts shake with the burning love of a revolution, and shivers unleash lust in The land of God, and the heavens that are pleasurable.. rain that matters, and contentment deceives you, and tranquility after the end of the journey..
Without it, my possessions are lost, and al-Shamraikhi collapses from the top of the isthmus.. I fell like a martyr; And I ask myself: Will this woman marry me.. I love you girl.. I am looking for you to the point of being lost.. The female’s mind wandered when I asked her.. Her astonishment was greater.. She was. He was silent for a while and then said, “Ah, you are different from all people.”
I cursed Satan with my secret, and I took pleasure in it several times, to repeat it, and he says: Enjoy and give life its due.. You did not kill.. You did not spoil.. You are not wronged.. You adore and pray to the Lord the prayer of infinite love, and I know that God’s forgiveness is greater than this universe.
It was a nap full of pleasure, I woke up from the depth of the nap, and I repent and ask forgiveness for what the pens have been lifted and the blame has been removed..
***
He follows..
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