My Voice is Slaughtered

yemeni mp

Ahmed Saif Hashed

When I became a child capable of discernment, able to grasp the rudiments of life and death, and the difference between staying and leaving, I witnessed what burdens the soul and weighs heavily on memory. More than fifty years have passed, yet those memories remain unyielding and impossible to forget.

I watched them slaughter a rabbit, and its piercing scream still erupts in my memory with pain, every time I recall it on some occasion or when something today reminds me of it. I never imagined I would witness so many wars, disasters, and vast tragedies in my lifetime.

I remember its agonizing scream just before the slaughter, as if a child had possessed it, crying out in a protest that exploded from its shocked voice. I recall the knife placed against its gasping throat, a refusal and protest against its execution without guilt, save for the desire of someone who craved its flesh, while its heartbeats reached a crescendo, and its breaths resembled those of a long-distance runner.

As the act of slaughter commenced, I remember the heavy hand clamping down on its mouth, suffocating its voice and stifling its breaths, while some of its stunned cries scattered like sparks from between the fingers pressing against its mouth, as if it were a cry of existential protest against a terrifying, grotesque reality.

* * *

I have always remembered this painful scene vividly, as if it occurred today, comparing it to other painful scenes that have passed or continue to unfold.

I recall it clearly as I witness the strangling of any voice that wishes to express its pains or the pains of others, or that seeks to protest against the oppression weighing heavily on weary shoulders, bleeding hearts, and the oppressed under authority, along with the pen that wishes to resist execution—perhaps even its owner’s execution.

They want to stifle the breaths of the people and silence their cries so that no one hears them. They use the heavy hand of power and tyranny to crush them and silence them forever. They aim to bind the people’s hands to their necks, to break their resistance, and to execute the voice of the oppressed, with no savior except fate.

A moral execution is practiced against their citizens for the benefit of their tyranny. They want them to be submissive like flocks, docile and obedient like slaves. They do not want anyone to express dissent, objection, or a stance, or even the slightest indication of existence or humanity.

They want you to be them, not yourself. I have exerted every effort to be where I desire. I feel I am exercising my existence when I strive for the freedom I long for, asserting my will against those who wish to seize it. I find part of myself in the words of the American philosopher and poet Emerson, “The greatest achievement is to be the person you want to be in a world that tries to make you the person you do not want to be.”

They want to crush any victory you achieve, no matter how small, so that you neither rest nor smile, regardless of how prolonged your melancholy or how dashed your hopes. What if that victory is recorded against them? It is the arrogance and narcissism of power when crowned by tyranny.

They wish to tear out your tongue, rob your mind, trample your freedom, violate your independence, and corrupt your conscience to its very end.

* * *

Merchants of war, figures of power, corruption, and tyranny share the homeland for the benefit of others in exchange for scraps.

They tear apart the social fabric of the people, entrenching this disintegration with blood, death, hatred, and roadblocks, reinforcing boundaries through security and military checkpoints, complicating movement procedures, and imposing new laws that serve to entrench this division and disintegration, forcing citizens to comply and adhere to them.

They conspire with others to plunder the wealth of their people, deliberately starving their citizens and extorting them with their daily bread, all while subjecting them to humiliation and servitude.

The withholding of salaries, especially for teachers, and the prolonged continuation of this withholding, is but a part of this insidious policy that degrades human dignity and freedom, undermining the most crucial front of struggle—education—so that ignorance prevails, allowing them to seize the future of their people.

Simultaneously, they do not want any opposition or objection, even if it is minute or timid, not daring to raise an eyelash. They want you to be what they desire and crave! Whatever is postponed will be accomplished in each stage of increasing empowerment.

* * *