Diary

(12) Prevent and let down fate!! Ahmed Seif Hashed

My memoirs.. from the details of my life

(12)

Prevent and let down fate!!

Ahmed Seif Hashed

Parents have compassion for their children.. they shower them with kindness and love, and surround them with care and attention.. Mostly and mostly they do not turn back a request or a request to them if it comes and is possible, or if this request is within the means and ability, and if it is impossible and impossible, they ask them for forgiveness and a sure excuse..

 

My father is perhaps the most difficult and responsive.. In some of them there is no hope with him or begging.. I see him as difficult to handle even on the day of Eid.. I think his heart is made of flint.. This is the image that stuck in my mind about my father, in which I may have wronged him to an extent. Far away, and when I grew up and became a father, I matured and removed the exaggeration and exaggeration from this dark and biased image, I understood many things, and I sought excuses for him in many of them, even if I wrote some of what happened with ink from yesterday’s pain and sadness..

 

It saddened me that fathers do not prevent their children from going to distant birthdays, wedding celebrations, mourning gatherings, markets and distant trips.. My father does not only mind, but is ready to commit a foolishness if I do it by force on him, or exceed his decision to prevent.. My father is provoked by the challenge, He becomes mad if he feels that what I am doing in him is signs of disobedience or rebellion, but perhaps it is enough for him to think, and there is no need for investigation and proof.

***

“Al-Khidr,” and I have Saleh, I have never attended his “birth” or visited his shrine.. I used to hear from children and boys when they return from “his birth” many tales and scenes that they return every year, and they tell them with glee that ripples, and joy almost flies with its owner. As if they had gone to another planet, or visited the surface of the moon.

 

When they tell stories, they compete to mention the details and add to them.. I am the only one who finds pain squeezing me and bitterness slaughtering me because I am forbidden and oppressed, and visiting him is a hope for the disappointing back of the unseen..

 

At the Mawlid, people come from all sides.. Boys’ faces radiate with light, joy and happiness.. All faces meet with feasts and birthdays.. Buying and selling on mawwald is in a variety of ways.. Things for sale that you only find on such occasions.. Scenes that are not repeated in The place is only after a year.. If you miss one of them, you feel that your age has passed a year or less, and you have lost what you have been waiting for, and you have to move him for a whole year to try your luck again in the following, if disappointed again you feel that your age is wasted and your hope recedes and double sadness weighs on your shoulders.

 

The banners and their bright colors captivate the heart and the eyes, and give the occasion distinction and prestige.. Spirituality that immerses you in some places and scenes.. Even exaggerations in birthdays are attractive and charming.. And the dignity that you hear about on birthdays sometimes goes beyond imagination.. You show astonishment about it, and you believe it whatever it is, and perhaps you add to it and it becomes a fantasy beyond imagination, in which there is a lot of magic and captivating fun.

 

“Al-Majadhib” you see from them what amazes and astonishes..many tales that make you go crazy longing to see them a thousand times without getting anxious or bored.

***

In order to attend these scenes, I prayed to God for a week and more to soften my father’s heart so that I could attend this joyful birthday.. And instead of praying to the Lord, I prayed a hundred, and instead of thanking God and asking His forgiveness and glorifying His kingdom a hundred, I did it by thousands and doubled it in the hope that God would make my father’s heart tender. Lina, so that I would be allowed to attend the “birthday” of Al-Khidr this year, a presence that I have always dreamed of and waited for, and was postponed from year to year.

 

But despite my prayers, my forgiveness and my glorification, fate failed me, and my disappointment was the length and width of the sky, and my father’s heart remained hard and cruel, he did not soften or soften.. My father does not benefit from prayer, hope, magic, or “law of attraction”

 

My mother also made her efforts a week ago, but she failed and was disappointed by extracting my father’s approval.. My father when he is persistent and stubborn, and his positions harden, perhaps it needs to be changed by fate, or this is what I imagine, if I have not already lived it.. I love my father Because I am a few of him.. I learned from him to go too far in stubbornness, but in what is benign, and not to give in or succumb to injustice, even if I bow down forced by a storm..

***

Continued..

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