Diary
(10) Holiday full of disappointment! Ahmed Seif Hashed
My memoirs.. from the details of my life
(10)
holiday full of disappointment!
Ahmed Seif Hashed
Children and boys rejoice in the great feast.. A feast that is awaited for a long time and patiently is almost exhausted on the eve of his coming.. It is received in the early morning with flushing joy and happiness that overwhelms the universe.. As for my feast, I am like an orphanage, or I appear on it like a slaughtered bird.. I am afflicted by the misfortune that has befallen it. How much he spoiled and blackened his page..
My Eid this year is sore from my mother who is running away from her family from the strife and quarrels that continued and increased beyond what could be possible.. My Eid is far from my mother and has no taste or color, and even filled with disappointment filled me inside until I felt dented..!!
I feel that loneliness, estrangement and sadness have haunted me together on days that are supposed to be joy and happiness.. During Eid, the boys are clothed with joy and Eid clothes; You see joy in their eyes like birds, and in their faces light upon light.
The gloom, monotony, and sullenness of most of the nights of the year, alone that is broken by the joy of Eid, its blackness is torn by the cracks and flashes of “the tamash” .. Pleasure fills the weary and tired hearts.. As for me, my business is different.. This Eid is not only spoiled by the absence of my mother, but also by the slander of our neighbor’s son..
I want to run away to my mother..but I still remember the last time my father forced me to run away, dragged by my earlobe all the long way..he not only ran me from my ear, but he also put a pebble between his fingers and the earlobe, and my father’s fingers keep pressing on the pebble and the earlobe. To add to my pain and pain, as he drags me with a tilted face as if he were sick.. and whenever I felt that the pain was no longer bearable, I asked him to move to my running with the second ear..
Sometimes for a small reason and a size smaller than a bean, my father had enough to ignite a world war against me.. What provokes him more than that is that he does not see me begging for his mercy.. Not begging for his mercy meant for him that I provoked him and detracted from his prestige and he is fearful..
Not speaking with his sympathy means that I defy him and provoke his anger and anger.. Such a matter of great gravity and defiance of his authority, and an exciting call for his re-consideration and esteem.. If he calls me to a matter and I only hesitate to answer him; You will find that the jinn wore him, and a thousand birds and a demon rode over his head.
On that day, he tried to stab me with a “janabiya”, and the women, men and boys there prevented me from touching me, and I hit my cousin Abdo Farid in the hand, as soon as he was trying to prevent her from reaching my exhausted and overburdened body.. The feast in my face turned darker than night, and more intense From the darkness of an abyssal basement…
I ran away from him a hundred meters or a little more, while he was trying to shoot.. I turned with the trunk of a sycamore tree, I was peeking from its side, while the embezzlement provoked my father and aroused his foolishness and protection as the Spanish wrestler provokes the agitation of a bull who had just come out of his cage to the bullring and was The wrestler was stabbed by a sword.
The fight is intense; Women and men trying to snatch the gun from my father’s palms, while he insists on trying to shoot.. I was asking myself in horror whether bullets could penetrate the trunk of the sycamore tree and reach my body.. Something I had neither experienced nor heard of, and I do not know the protection that its trunk provides. I may assure myself that the trunk is able to take on the task of repelling bullets! Then I wonder..
However, the distance between me and my father is still short, and perhaps my father will be able to escape from his clutches, so I made a decision that seemed to me safer, which is to take advantage of the moment of the fight, and release my legs to the wind, and escape with a quick escape.. I ran away and the panic doubled my speed. Also more pain and disappointments..
***
Continued..
Ahmed Seif Hashed’s Facebook page
